A Study of Matthew: What do you mean, “Friend”?

Matthew 26:47–50 ESV

While he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a great crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “The one I will kiss is the man; seize him.” And he came up to Jesus at once and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” And he kissed him. Jesus said to him, “Friend, do what you came to do.” Then they came up and laid hands on Jesus and seized him.

Last Sunday was Easter, so you would expect that I would be preaching about the events after Easter. But I want to go back in time, so to speak. We are looking at the night before Jesus was crucified. They had already gathered in the upper room for Passover. Jesus broke bread and called it his body. He poured wine and called it his blood. He announced that one of them would betray him, and he sent Judas away, knowing what Judas was about to do.

Afterward, Jesus and the disciples went to Gethsemane. His closest friends—Peter, James, and John—went further with Jesus to be near him while he prayed. Jesus prayed the famous prayer, “If there can be any other way to save mankind, let this cup pass from me. Nonetheless, not my will, but yours be done.”

He goes back and finds his friends sleeping. He wakes them up and tells them the time has come for him to be arrested. And that’s where our passage today picks up.

Judas shows up with what can only be described as a brute squad. They are thugs sent by religious leaders who are threatened by Jesus. Matthew has no kind words concerning Judas. He is called “the betrayer.” It’s ugly, but it’s true.

It’s especially ugly because Judas doesn’t just betray Jesus; he does it with an ironic cruelty. He tells the thugs, “The one I will kiss is the man you want.” I mean, who does that? How much must you hate someone to set them up like that?

Judas walks up to Jesus, like nothing is wrong at all. He gives Jesus a friendly, almost enthusiastic greeting, and kisses Jesus. Everything is set for Jesus to be taken by force to a mockery of a trial followed by a brutal execution.

But… before that happens, Jesus speaks to Judas.

Matthew 26:50 ESV

Jesus said to him, “Friend, do what you came to do.” Then they came up and laid hands on Jesus and seized him.

That’s the part that stuck out to me when I read this passage. Here Judas is, betraying Jesus.

I mean, we already know what kind of person Judas is.

John 12:1–6 ESV

Six days before the Passover, Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was about to betray him), said, “Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it.

Judas was a thief who thought that his role as the team treasurer and finance officer, he was entitled to use ministry money for his own personal needs.

You can tell how the other disciples felt about Judas. In all the gospels, any list of the disciples always puts Judas last, and frequently reminds us that he is the one who would betray Jesus.

And yet, when Judas walks up with this phony, lovey-dovey greeting, Jesus greets him by calling him “friend.”

This guy, Judas. This pathetic excuse for a human being, who has just acted as anything but a friend. He’s the textbook definition of an enemy. And Jesus calls him “friend.”

Doesn’t that blow your mind? How incredible, that Jesus can know exactly what Judas is doing at that moment, and still call him “friend”!

What makes it even more amazing is the fact that Jesus was not being sarcastic. I mean, most of us has probably referred to someone as “buddy” at one time, in a tone of voice that means anything BUT friendship. “Now listen here, buddy.”

But when Jesus calls Judas “friend”, he means it!

You know, the Bible teaches about friendship. There are several passages in Proverbs warning about the kind of people you allow to have influence in your life. And anyone who has lived with addiction or a destructive lifestyle knows that sometime you have to remove people from your life your life who would entice you back to that world.

But, for all the Bible teaches about the kinds of friends you should be seeking out, it talks even more about the kind of friend you should be to others.

John 15:13 ESV

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

In Matthew 22:37-39, Jesus is asked what the greatest law is, to which Jesus replies:

Matthew 22:37–39 ESV

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

When he was asked to define “neighbor”, Jesus tells the story of the good Jewish man who was beaten and robbed while traveling down the highway. The only person to stop and offer help was a Samaritan—someone the Jews looked down on and would never be associated with.

In other words, biblical friendship is not concerned with how many friends you have. It’s about the kind of friend you are to others. You are a friend because you choose to be a friend. You don’t look at someone and say, “Will you be my friend?” You say to them, “I AM your friend.”

That is exactly what Jesus was doing when he encountered Judas. It didn’t matter that Judas was not being a friend to Jesus; Jesus chose to be a friend to Judas. He chose to love Judas. He chose to forgive Judas.

And that is huge. It’s huge for every person who ever thought, “Jesus can’t love me.”

Sure, Jesus loves everybody. Everybody else, that is. But you don’t know what I’ve done, who I’ve hurt. There is no room for me in God’s kingdom.

If that’s what you believe, let me tell you something: that is a lie straight from the pit of Hell. If Jesus can look into the face of the guy who literally sold him out to the enemy and call him “friend”, he can love you.

Because Jesus did love Judas. He loved the Roman soldiers who put him on the cross. He loved the crowd that gathered to mock him and spit on him. He even loved the very religious leaders who hired men to make false accusations about Jesus so that he could be arrested. He loved those men who were determined that Jesus could not be the Messiah and did everything they could to kill Jesus.

In spite of everything they did to him, Jesus remained a friend to them. And he is a friend to you too. He is reaching out to you with those nail-pierced hands to embrace you and accept you into his kingdom.

Does that mean that everyone gets to go to heaven? No. Remember, heaven is a kingdom, where God is the king. The only way to live in that kingdom is to be a citizen of that kingdom.

We were not born citizens of that world. We were born citizens of this fallen world. In order to be part of God’s kingdom, we have to be perfect and holy. That is something none of us can achieve on our own. We will never be good enough to earn a place in God’s kingdom. The only thing we truly deserve is death eternally separated from God.

Jesus is the Son of God. He is perfect and holy. He has every right to judge us as unworthy to enter his kingdom. Instead, he chose to see us as his friends. None of us has ever been a good friend to Jesus, but he has always been the best friend to us. He came to his earth. He taught us about heaven. Then he did something amazing. He allowed Judas to betray him. He allowed those goons to take him. He allowed the religious leaders to tell lies about him and convict him of false charges. He allowed the Roman ruler to give him a death sentence. He allowed the soldiers to beat him almost beyond recognition. He carried the cross—the instrument of his own death—up the hill of Calvary. He allowed them to drive nails into his hands and feet. He allowed the crowds, and even the other convicted felons, to mock him.

Jesus, the sinless, perfect son of God, embraced the death that we deserve. He took on our sinfulness and covered us with his holiness. He has extended to us the invitation to come live with him forever in his father’s kingdom.

How amazing is it that this all-powerful ruler of an eternal kingdom looks at us, looks at me, looks at you, and says, “You’re my friend!”

Have you ever had a moment when you found out about how much someone had been secretly helping you? Maybe a parent who skipped meals so that you could eat or made sure you had shoes and clothes while they wore the same outfit every day.

I had an uncle growing up that I didn’t have much respect for. He could be rude. He couldn’t stay married because he would consistently mistreat and neglect his wives. The only good thing about his coming to visit was that I loved his sons, my cousins. We had a blast. Then, one day when I was about 15, I found out about how sick I had been as a baby. I had to get a blood transfusion, and there was a blood shortage at the hospital. The person who immediately stepped up to provide me healthy blood was my rude, neglectful, sorry excuse for an uncle. Do you know how much my opinion about him changed? He saved my life. I love my Uncle Charles dearly. I miss him every day.

Compare what my uncle did to what Jesus did. My uncle sat in discomfort while they took a few ounces of blood from him. He was fine afterward. My Jesus suffered immeasurably and died my death. If I love my uncle for what he did, I love Jesus even more.

And let me assure you, Jesus loves you. He sees your life, as messed up as it may be, and calls you friend. He is offering you the opportunity to be with him forever. Will you accept?

Are you willing to really let Jesus into your life? It may mean that things have to change. But if you give your life to Jesus, he will help you change what needs to change. He will help you become the person God always intended you to be, the best version of yourself.

You may have prayed for Jesus to forgive your sins in the past. But if you have never really commited yourself to him, to be his friend the way that he as been a friend to you, today is the day.